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How Many More Dreams Have to Die?

Somewhere… deep within the trenches of an abandoned Google Drive file… lies a content graveyard.

A poetry collection. Copywriting samples. Blog submissions. All of it laid to rest and buried in the decayed remains of inauthenticity and a misguided mindset.

We hate being wrong about things. It hurts when we are wrong. Nobody ever taught us to be wrong. Whether it’s actually happening or we’re overthinking it, it feels threatening to have our words and actions placed under a microscope.

Take a look back at your high school days (proceeding with caution, of course): You look down, and you’re seated with an exam. You look up, and your teacher – a seasoned veteran in confiscating phones and denier of bathroom breaks – is taking a lingering tour around everyone’s desk. We can’t escape that our performance is being under review.

Good grades reward us with the impression that we are destined for great things. Falling well short of that can leave you with social and academic consequences. Average scores are left ignored.

When we grow up only knowing the feedback of those in authority over us and what their feedback entails – how does this make our perception of personal creativity any different?

Social media can be an echo chamber. In order to stand out, how will you pitch your message within all the noise?

Limitless ideas can inspire your artistry. But from start to finish, how does it complement what you value?

Are your projects satisfying to you? Or are you putting on a show for someone else?

Perhaps, all this time, I’ve been sharing my personal projects as if they were a school essay. Hoping my thoughts and ideas were viewed with gold stars and checkmarks as opposed to crossed-out words and criticism inked in red. I suppose I allowed my opinions to be watered down to appease mainstream thought. Never daring to challenge any systems that uphold comfortable lies, instead spewing words that stayed within the walls of conformity just as society ordered.

Maybe that’s what's had to die – the naïve assumption that recognition can only be attained by following another person’s blueprint of “success.” The corporatization of my content that prioritized the quantity of viewership over its quality.

While inspiration is gathered from the outside, self-fulfillment gets more personal and starts from within. The vision only starts feeling right when we can truthfully claim it as our own – and I want to believe that doing so will attract the intended audience that will tag along for the ride.

This new blog project here may be settled atop a heap of bones, but I sure as hell hope it will be the one to remain standing.


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